The very substance we need to live a successful and a fulfilling life
is the relationship we have and develop with others. The people we
associate with plus the "books" we read will to a large extent determine what we will become in five or ten years time.
All great entrepreneurs or business persons know that people knowledge is more important that mere product knowledge, thank God for network marketing companies
they place a high value on relationship with others.
For
you to win relationally you must answer these 5 questions. You must
learn to make yourself the kind of person others want to know and with
whom they can build a positive relationship or friendship with. Though,
that doesn't mean you will have a successful relationship with every
person you meet. You cannot control another person's response to you.
But you can become successful in your relational life.
1. Are You Prepared for Relationships?
Stanley
C. Allyn asserts: The most useful person in the world today is the man
or woman who knows how to get along with other people. Human relations
are the most important science in living.
Before you can excel in
your personal life: career, destiny, ambitions, goals and others you
must prepare your mind toward the realization. Without much
consciousness, without you even knowing you just strive to achieve your
goals and ambitions. This is easy because it is hard-wired into our
brains you'll automatically prepare your mind to want to succeed.
But in relationships, to most people building a relationship with others usually take the short end of the stick. This should not be so.
Prepare
your mind to want to build good positive relationship with others in
your daily routine. Like smiling when you say "hello Bill".
2. Are You Willing to Focus on Other People?
When
there is a conflict between two couples or friends, what is the best
way to get it solved even right away? You start by focusing on the other
person not by staring at them in the eye but by putting yourself in
their shoes and try to understand why they do what they did, try to
understand it their way, look at the problem at hand via
their
contact lenses. That way you can easily resolve a problem, because most
of the time you both might even be arguing the same thing but from
different perspectives you both do not understand. By focusing on them
and trying to see it from their own point of view will make the conflict
more easy to resolve.
3. Are You Ready to Build Mutual Trust?
Trust
is not something you easily give it is something you earn. Both parties
must earn it from each other. Although, some people do take our trust
in them for granted but that doesn't mean you should not trust people
anymore. Although, we must never trust anyone completely because we are
humans and our actions and deed are never perfect.
Trust is
most understood in marriages for instance, for your relationship with
your partner to work, you must build the bridge of trust with him or
her. Trust is a seed that is sowed, watered and give time to germinate,
grow and mature it is not something that happens in a snap. Generally
rationally too, the same rule applies. And when
others see you as a person they can trust you build that much more reputation for yourself, a reputation for honesty.
4. Are You Willing to Invest in Others?
Investment means time spent. It also means resources used. Are you ready and willing
to invest in others? For a relationship to work it needs time and
resources. For example, when you meet someone new for the first time and
both of you exchange contacts it will be foolish to pour yourself on
them just like that - trusting them and thinking they are the best
person you ever come across. You must give time for both
of you to see the defects, flaws and short comings in you_s and know how to adjust.
The
resources can mean anything including your time. While you stand back from within yourself trying to see the kind of person you're dealing
with, there will also be times you'll need to help out in the life of
the other person. It might be they need a job, food, clothing and any
other basic need within your ability.
5. Can You Create a Win-Win Relationship With Others?
This is synergy.
Synergy (creating a win-win relationship) is most easily describe in
marriages where one of the couples will always want to win every
arguments! (Men especially). Although, you might win in the argument but
you are inadvertently killing a source that can catapult your
relationship to the next level. You are also making the
other
person feel insecure and will want to do everything possible to win in
the coming argument next time. And when this little always win
relationship attitude lingers for a long time you are unknowingly
weakening the foundation of your friendship with that person. When you
always want to win in a relationship friendships/marriage, the other
person will want to be making way for you to win in order to create
peace esp. if the other person is not an argumentative person. And
before you know it, gap will be showing up between you.
But in
a win-win relationship, both partners are at ease, they love each other
more and want to do more great positive things for each other.
Although,
there are times when arguing on a particular matter can bring a lasting
solution to a problem but these instances are very rare. Understand:
Arguments is an exchange of ignorance, conversation is an exchange of
knowledge. Argue less, converse more.
finally, there is a lot
to relationships than we can imagine. Relationships (in all forms) is
something that an entire voluminous book can be written on. But no matter who you are or where you're from you can be a successful relationalier with others. Even if they're from Mars.
Now, if you miss out on one or more of the above listed, the folowing are what your relationship life will lead into.
